Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
