he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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