i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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