If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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