I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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