the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
