she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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