now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
