Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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