idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
