I don't think brook has ever known best
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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