it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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