never play flip cup with pint glasses
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
