she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
