I am puke
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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