I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
