Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
My life is pants optional.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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