I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just want to make out with him forever
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
