I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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