waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
