i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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