best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
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