so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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