Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
high people should be assigned attendants
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
