Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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