take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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