Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
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