Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
