did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
