I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
