help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
