I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
