so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
