my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
