I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
