it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Two words: blizzard sex
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
