Me too!
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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