So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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