I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
