You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
