Sry I called you an 8
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
