Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
