so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
organizing the empties. That sober.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
