i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
The feeling are messing with the penis
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
