covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
