note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
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