Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
