Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
