so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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