sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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