if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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