This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
